Cigarettes are expensive. The GFC hurt everyone. Even the pocket money of children. Solution? Forget hiding behind the bike sheds for a quick ciggie. We need to get together and stay together, reform the family unit, share quality time and blow airbrushed smoke in the face of a baby. 

I saw this clown at a book sale. Like him on Facebook, apparently.

This is an expensive, damp time machine that took me back to the 1947 coup and then to the 2006 coup. The only difference was at the latter I got better mobile phone reception and the cameras used to take happy snaps of smiling families in front of the coup plotter's tanks were of a much better quality.  

This? This is explained in the next photo.

See?

A future Dalai Lama bought a shit suit on Sukhumvit. So be it. 

The guy in the red was a policeman. Some people in this esteemed city of sanuk, of both serious and casual violence do not like the actions of some of the police fraternity. I heard a good one once: "Bangkok is the only city in the world where the only people with guns you have to fear are the police". Who knows how much truth lies in that statement? 

We barracked for Mr Blue. 

As my friend quite simply put it, this is "post modernism visually defined." Laugh or cry, make your choice.

These toy helicopters - 900 Baht each, a bargain -were bought for the Baby Buddha above the bar, so he can play with them and - hopefully via the merit of such an auspicious gift - possibly take time out of his busy Bodhisattva schedule to fly out in one of the choppers, collect customers and bring them back to the bar.

 If you are looking for a joke in the previous sentence, there is not one to be found.

Rambo sleeps beneath the celestial realm.

Mr Red got taken down to Chinatown. Cheers, Mr Blue.

This shot was taken in the most expensive, hippest shopping plaza in Bangkok. Apparently, the latest fashion is to dress like Dr Who. Who am I to judge? I thought Hypercolour T-shirts might come back. 

They're like Skittles.

Aw, jeez. It can't all be top shelf material. Have a nice cardiovascular system. I hear Dubbo is lovely this time of year.

Small problem.

The military sandbagging my apartment block has forced a slight postponement of my next post of gibberish sprinkled with photographs.

Hang in there, people silly enough to read this gibberish sprinkled with photographs.

Gimme a sec, OK?

Salut.

Post Tomorrow.

"The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless." 

Well, you tell that to Thailand, Nicolas Chamfort. And I don't even believe in God, or Jebus for that matter.

Bars in Bangkok don't just simply run on Thais smiling under the weight of Singha-soaked falangs with atrocious manners/fashion sense in order to keep a drinking establishment economically viable. Certain offerings must be made to ensure the prosperity of the business. Well, at least attempt to maintain the prosperity of the business. Nothing is certain. All is flux. Happy hour lasts two hours.

High on the shelves of bars, above all the diluted Jack Daniels and stubby coolers, are representations of many, many sacred deities, items and symbols.

These many, many sacred things are given offerings in a very specific order.

Lord Buddha is first. The tea and water at the front. Not much was explained to me of this. That's that.

Phra Phikanet - the Thai version of Ganesh - gets the milk and water. He is worshipped as a deity of business fortune, success and as a someone that can remove obstacles. When things go wrong - business don't go so good, success don't come, obstacles remain obstacles - he is turned upside down as a sign of ridicule.

Those three shot glass at the back and centre are offering for King Chulalongkorn (Rama V, or, as he is known to many faithful as Ratchakan Tee Ha). In the three shots: one is tea, one is whiskey and one is water. Tea for the Great Moderniser who kept faithful to the old ways, Whisky for the Internationalist, and water for the purity of the now deified king. This is what I was told. There are many, many other interpretations, but now is nor the time nor place to elaborate. 

Chuchok. He's next. Chuchok was a beggar who got rich from successful begging. Go figure. He became a bartender and is considered good luck in business and unexpected fortune. His is the water and red syrup on the front left.

Next, there's Lady Buddha. I thought she got water and milk, but here it's water and syrup. What do I know, eh?

Baby Buddha is next in the queue. Two syrups and a water. Sweet tooth.

There's some odd phallic/pestle thing that gets tea and water, but I can't remember for the life of me what that's about. Phalid Khik. I can't do all the legwork.

Oh, and everyone gets some cake. Don't forget that.

First three incense sticks are lit for prosperity. After that, nine incense sticks are lit for prosperity.

I don't understand the nine yet, but the three incense sticks symbolise the three stages of the Buddha - Paput (student), Pratam (teacher) and Prasong (enlightened/realised). Apologies for the terrible spelling - and erroneous content, while we're at it - but I did this work on the fly.

After all that, food and drink was put out for the old owner, now dead. The manager here reckons he's a suffering ghost now, so the food is cut up small and and straw put in his whiskey. Suffering ghosts have small mouths - it's kinda a long story. When these are placed, one stick of incense it lit for him to come and eat/drink.

Why no picture of all the deities? You work that out.

And then? Well, then the bar was ready to open. 

So I had a beer. 

Hey, at least here in your hotel drawer you get a choice. 

This guy? I don't know. I don't know. I think he wanted a drink or something. I really think he should take advantage of the cheap dental work available here in Bangkok. The technicians are very good.

Death is like going into another room, another room where you're dead. Going to the Bureau of Immigration is like going into another room, another room where you're dead and take a number

That'll do. Go watch television or something.

Yeah, yeah.

It's coming.

Being alive is much more important and interesting than this drivel.

Give me a couple of days.

Don't drive angry and never park on the railway tracks.

Salut.